Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
“WHEEL OF FORTUNE” ADDS NEW GAME
This’ll make it more interesting, for sure.
“THE PRICE IS RIGHT” AND “LET’S MAKE A DEAL” DO STAR TREK EPISODES
Guess wise and prosper.
SLOW NEWS DAY, WE’LL GIVE SNOOP DOGG A FREE COMMERCIAL
Available wherever munchies are sold.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Tuesday and Wednesday
CONTESTANT ON “SURVIVOR: GREECE” SUES OVER LOST LEG
The producers should plead immunity.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
“WHEEL OF FORTUNE” ANNOUNCER SUSPENDED
Nobody knows Y.
HOOTERS: THE MOVIE
Front projection.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What did Santa Claus say on his 50th Birthday?
I’m having a midlife Christmas!!
My father was born with a conjoined twin, but they were separated at birth.
Yeah, I have an uncle, once removed.
A lumberjack said he chopped down EXACTLY 56,742 trees.
I asked, “How do you know that?” He said, “I keep a log.”
Why are there no rockstars from South East Asia?
They Singapore
Why do doctors like to tap your knee with a rubber hammer?
They get a kick out of it.
U.S. NEWS
FLORIDA MAN CUTS THROUGH WALL INTO NEIGHBOR’S APARTMENT
Florida Man, Kool-Aid Man, same difference.
GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FOR DOGS
Finally, you don’t have to share your Girl Scout cookies with your dog.
US OPEN SMELLS LIKE SEWAGE
No love for this tennis tournament.
MISSING MAN IN CIVIL WAR UNIFORM
He’s gone. Gone with the wind.
MAN WINS $1 MILLION ON BIRTHDAY GIFT LOTTERY TICKET
Serves the cheap-ass gift-giver right.
SUSPECT FOUND HIDING IN DOG HOUSE
A shaggy dog story.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
LEAP HOUR
It’s about time.
GRAVE DIGGING CONTEST IN HUNGARY
Tomb it may concern.
MAN SURVIVES TREE FALL, DIES IN ELEVATOR DROP
A real downer, man.
NEW QUEEN OF NORWAY MISSES HUSBAND’S SWEARING-IN AS KING
Oh, was that today?
MAN KILLED BY SIGN THAT READ “EVERYTHING’S UNMISSABLE”
Please observe the No Smoting sign.
MAN DISCOVERS CHEATING WIFE VIA ROBOT VACUUM
Why you little Dirt Devil!
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
My Spidey Sense is Tingling
$2 Hammer
Caricatures: 5 French Fries
Now Do Me
Well, If You Say So
Ta-Daa!
THE BUZZ
DUMB HEADLINES
The dumb, it burns.
CAN’T SLEEP? TRY MAKING A LIST
Checkin’ it twice.
UNPOPULAR OPINIONS
Scanned menus, guitar solos and cookie dough.
HOW ABOUT NAMING HURRICANES AFTER THINGS OTHER THAN PEOPLE?
Hurricane Jerkwad?
AMERICANS THINK ABOUT FOOD A LOT
Go figure.
THE 2026 IG NOBEL PRIZES
Scooby dooby dubious.
UPON TURNING 30
Do this stuff! Do it now! Hurry!
DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE UPRISING
Starts Friday, September 11 in theaters.
PRACTICAL MAGIC 2
Starts Friday, September 11 in theaters.
THE FIX
Starts Friday, September 11 in theaters.
BY ANY MEANS
Starts Friday, September 4 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
A & M AUTOLAND – Subliminal Ad
Al and Mike try communicating below the threshold of actual thoughts, which is how their brains work anyway.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, September 4.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Dinners
With their latest promotion, Al and Mike have bitten off more than they can chew.
UNIVERSITY OF HIBBING: JOBS
Earn that college degree in a week, maybe two.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 28.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Scratch And Dent Sale
Now more damaged cars than ever!
GERONIMO NURSING HARNESS
For the active new mother.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 21.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Echo
Big Al’s latest idea has Big Mike bouncing off the walls.
F&A PIZZA
You got that right, ya mook.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, August 14.
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