THE BLENDER BANDIT

Police in Nazareth, Pennsylvania, are searching for a man who allegedly stole blenders for sale at Wegmans Supermarket on various occasions. After stealing the blenders, police say he fled in a full size, four-door white pickup truck. They have nicknamed him … The Blender Bandit.
* If this was 20 years ago, he’d be the Food Processor Perpetrator.
* Blenders? Look for someone who’s invited to a lot of weddings.
* The cops are going around in circles.
* He’s long gone from Nazareth by now. Check Margaritaville.
* Stake out the ice machine. He’s got to come back.
* He’s hard to spot because, of course, he blends so well.
* Authorities warn if you see the Blender Bandit, be-Waring.
* Okay, describe the crime using one setting on a blender machine in each sentence.
* I know if they catch him he’s pureed.
* He’s really stirred things up. (stir setting)
* I’m not going to “mince” words here. This bit isn’t going “grate.”