MAN FLUSHING FRIEND'S ASHES DOWN STADIUM TOILETS

A New York Mets fan named Tom McDonald was best friends with fellow Mets fan Roy Riegel. Riegel died nine years ago. Mr. McDonald was charged by Riegel’s family with disposing of his ashes in an appropriate manner. At first McDonald scattered some at ballparks and notable places, but then he realized it’d just be easier to flush him down the toilet at ballparks around the country. As it turns out, the late Roy Riegel was a plumber. McDonald has some rules:
– The game has to be in progress.
– Use a “refreshed” bowl.
So far, the ashes have been deposited in 16 stadiums, and also the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, because Mr. Riegel was a devout rocker.
* Did Tom learn nothing about plumbing from Roy? He just switched from scattering him at ballparks to sending him into the sewers.
* “Mr. McDonald was charged by Riegel’s family with disposing of his ashes in an appropriate manner.” So they don’t know anything about this, then.
* Do you suppose Mr. McDonald ever follows the toilet scattering with uh, a chaser?
* As they say, Ashes to Asses, Dust to Dust.
* Down the toilet. Appropriate at the Kansas City Royals stadium.
* Imagine walking into the stadium bathroom, you go, “Oh, my god, did something die in here?” And a voice from a stall says, “Well, as a matter of fact …”
* Wow, that’s quite a favor for the family to ask: “Would you scatter his remains for us?”
* And I feel put out when I have to take the keg back for the deposit.
* Look, the baseball parks are fine, but I don’t like the idea of ending up literally down the toilet.
* Plus, what if this catches on and we plug up every stadium in America?