MAN WITH A PORSCHE AND A BOAT ATTACKED FOR BEING FANCY, WHITE

A man named Bob, who asked his last name not be published, and his wife had stopped at a gas station off I-95 near Richmond, Virginia last Saturday morning. They were driving back home from Florida to Massachusetts. They were driving a Porsche and hauling a boat. While Bob was pumping gas, a woman started screaming at him. He didn’t understand her, so he attempted to ignore her, but then she threatened to put a hole in his “fancy boat.” And then she grabbed a hammer, busted his taillight and started hitting the boat. She began clawing at Bob’s face. He took her down to the ground, then let her go and she grabbed the hammer again and hit the boat again. The hammer broke. Meanwhile, Bob’s wife, who was in the gas station bathroom, returned to find her bloodied husband. The woman threw some racial slurs at Bob’s wife, spit in her face, and said she was “sick of fancy white people.” Weaponless, she jumped back into her car and took off. A witness snapped a photo of the woman’s vehicle. Investigators used that photo to identify the woman as Angela M. Jones, 26, of Newark, New Jersey. “I have no idea why she started going after us, but I guess she thought we were some rich people,” said Bob, who owns a boat, a Porsche, and apparently a condo in Florida. The attacker, Ms. Jones, has since been arrested.
* Oh, to have such problems.
* OK, first of all: hauling a boat with a Porsche?
* Second, where does this woman get her hammers? The dollar store?
* Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors it was Hammer, Boat, Porsche.
* Fancy and white, Just like the cottage cheese I buy.
* “If I had a hammer / I’d hammer all the white people …”
* Sounds like the lady might have been a little hammered herself.
* Time for Bob and his wife to hire a black guy to drive the car while they hide in the boat.
* She began clawing at Bob’s face which was bad because it was a claw hammer.
* The witness snapped a photo of the woman who apparently just snapped on her own.
* That’ll take the glow out of your vacation really fast.
* Now it’s back to Florida to get over this.