IN MEMORIUM: U OF HOUSTON'S WHITE-TAILED SQUIRREL

The University of Houston announced the death of one of its most beloved residents, a white-tailed squirrel. Legend has it that if you saw the white-tailed squirrel on your test day, you would get an A. The university tweeted on its official account Monday that the squirrel had died. The cause of the squirrel’s death was not revealed, but a GoFundMe page set up by supporters is raising funds to hold a memorial service and have the squirrel stuffed by a taxidermist.
* Alright, who’s the wise guy who fed the squirrel cafeteria food?
* There goes the school’s grade point average – straight down the drain.
* I guess they could try rubbing the stuffed squirrel before a test.
* So far the GoFundMe page has … peanuts.
* Great. The Grim Reaper’s not busy enough – now he’s also going after Celebrity Animals.
* I wouldn’t want to be Grumpy Cat right now.
* I’ve heard of white-tailed deer. I have not heard of a white-tailed squirrel.
* It was so sad. The squirrel just sort of grabbed its nuts and keeled over.
* The weird part is that the students looked up from their phones long enough to notice a squirrel.
* I think we all just have to accept that the squirrel is dead and try and get on with our lives.