STARBUCKS: 20 MORE PER STORE

Starbucks is pushing every one of its U.S. cafés to bring in an extra 20 customers per day this year. After multiple quarters of record-breaking expansion, growth has been slowing down at Starbucks in recent months. Alongside the push to bring more customers into already-busy stores, the company is also working on a plan, known internally as #Simplify, to reduce frictions behind the counter. The plan includes changes in technology and mobile ordering so baristas can work smoothly as transactions increase. Some baristas worry the new “20 more” goal will be a challenge to meet, especially when looked at as an extra 140 transactions per week. “It’s like they want us to pull these customers from the air magically. It’s confounding,” said one employee, who asked not to be named.
* But if he had been named, it would have been spelled wrong.
* Not only is it confounding, it’s flummoxing balderdash!
* It almost sounds like the employee doesn’t want to work harder so the stockholders can make more money.
* If it’s the Starbucks I go to, they’ll have to build another Starbucks next door to handle the overflow. Not like they haven’t done THAT before.
* Getting 20 more in the store. It sounds like they’re planning on using physical force.
* How about reward points if you bring in another person piggy-back?
* I suppose the employees could always fire-bomb nearby Dunkin Donuts and Einstein Bros. Bagels.
* They could drop prices a little. That would get more in the store. Wait, what am I saying. That’s crazy talk.
* Here’s what’s more likely: After they meet the 20-more-customers-per-day goal, they introduce surge pricing.
* How about shrinking your profit margin from grande back down to venti?
* Oh, you thought you were the only one throwing around those terms.
* When this fails, employees will be encouraged to buy coffee from each other.
* Starbucks is experiencing a business slowdown? Be still my heart.
* I bought a machine for the house instead of going to Starbucks in the morning. So far I’ve saved around 11 thousand dollars.