GIRLFRIEND SHOOTS MAN IN CROTCH, ELSEWHERE

A Scottsdale, Arizona, man woke up Saturday night believing he had heard fireworks. But then he felt excruciating pain and realized he had been shot. In the crotch. By his girlfriend. He was rushed to a hospital with a gunshot wound to his penis, two gunshot wounds to his scrotum and gunshot wounds to his neck, upper back and left thigh. Della Flores, 53, was arrested and booked into jail on one count of first-degree attempted murder. She admitted to shooting him after learning he had allegedly been cheating on her. The victim denied the allegation and told police he has never had an affair.
* And what’s more, now he can’t.
* Fireworks! Ooo … ahhh…ouch!
* And you thought HITTING below the belt was bad.
* Let’s see … one shot to the penis and two to the scrotum sack? Well, that would certainly explain the excruciating pain part.
* After that, I bet he didn’t even feel the other shots.
* You know it’s bad when you get shot more times than Tupac.
* This guy had so many bullets in him that he actually gained weight.
* The lead poisoning alone could finish him off.
* This relationship is shot to hell.
* Imagine the flashbacks on the 4th of July.