DOG SHOOTS MAN'S GIRLFRIEND

A Florida man claims his dog accidentally shot his sleeping girlfriend in the leg on Tuesday night. Brian Murphy, 25, told police the dog, Diesel, had woken him up, so he let him outside. When they returned together to the pitch-black bedroom, Diesel allegedly jumped up on the nightstand, where his gun was sitting, and it went off (* Why was the dog’s gun on the nightstand?). Murphy’s girlfriend, Summer Miracle, awoke with a throbbing pain in her right leg. Murphy put a towel around his girlfriend’s bleeding leg and called police. She was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.
* Man’s best friend. Woman’s, not so much.
* Imagine that conversation: “I’m shot in the leg!” “Er … the dog did it.”
* Someone’s getting kicked out of that bedroom. And it might not be the dog.
* He also claims it’s the dog who leaves the toilet seat up.
* Summer Miracle had a Winter Accident.
* You don’t have to say that it was in Florida anymore. If there’s no state listed we’ll just assume it was Florida.
* I want to hear more about Summer Miracle.
* “His dog accidentally shot his sleeping girlfriend.” Okay, for a second there I thought it meant the dog’s girlfriend.
* And I’m wondering, “What’s that bitch doing in the house?”