MESSAGE TO HIT MAN ACCIDENTALLY GOES TO EX-BOSS

A Monroe, Washington, man’s plot to kill his wife and 4-year-old daughter was reportedly foiled after he sent a text to his former boss instead of a hitman. Jeff Lytle, 42, was arrested last week after he tried to reach out to a hitman named “Shayne” about killing his family in order to cash in on a $1.5 million life insurance policy. The message he sent: “You remember you said that you would help me kill my wife. I’m going to take you up on that offer.” However, Lytle mixed up the contact for his hitman with his former boss, who called police, who arrested Lytle at his home last Wednesday. In his defense, Lytle claimed that he wrote the texts to “vent” and was not really planning on having his family killed. He also suggested that his 4-year-old daughter may have sent them.
* “And I could just kill her for that.”
* How many of us HAVEN’T mixed up the hit man with someone else’s number, ammirite?
* Gee, if only his former boss had wanted someone killed, it could have been like “Strangers on a Train.”
* Folks, I keep telling you – clean out those old contact names on your phones!
* And never, ever “vent” in writing.
* This is going to be a pretty funny story at the Thanksgiving table, in a couple of years.
* At least he didn’t screw EVERYTHING up – the hit man is still on the loose.
* This is nothing. You should have seen the pictures of his penis he accidentally sent the IRS.
* Then there’s the sexy Valentine’s Day text he accidentally sent his mother-in-law.
* There’s a whole new term for this man: He’s a cyber-klutz.
* Hey, everyone else gets to make up new words. Why can’t we?