DRUNK DRIVER WEARING PINK LINGERIE

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, police have charged a man with drunken driving after allegedly finding him semi-conscious behind the wheel of a car while wearing pink lingerie. Police say 51-year-Daniel Marchese was also exposing himself when they arrived to find him in the running car, passing in and out of consciousness in the middle of an intersection Monday afternoon. Police say they found an open bottle of whiskey and two guns in the car, and that Marchese kicked at officers and threatened them.
* (gasp) Uncle Danny!
* Kicked at officers? Please tell me he wasn’t wearing stilettos.
* I always say – if you’re going to lose a Super Bowl bet, go big.
* The Fast and the FAB-ulous!
* He wore pink to match the color of the elephants he was seeing.
* I’ll bet he was transitioning – into a massive hangover.
* Let’s look at the bright side: At least he wasn’t texting.
* These are the scenes from the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show that they edit out.
* You know who loves the pink lingerie? His cellmate.