CYCLIST KILLED IN COLLISION WITH TURTLE

A Florida man died Wednesday after striking a turtle while riding his bike on a darkened street. The deadly accident happened about 3:16 a.m. Wednesday in Indian Harbour Beach. The cyclist apparently suffered a head injury and was already deceased when emergency workers arrived. It was not immediately known if the unidentified man was wearing a helmet. The turtle, described as a box turtle (* and who WAS wearing a helmet, sort of), survived the crash and managed to walk away with a minor injury.
* And a bit of a smirk.
* Was the turtle shell-shocked?
* How do they know the turtle walked away with a minor— oh, that’s right. Turtle.
* Did they at least get the turtle for jaywalking?
* It’s a box turtle and now the cyclist is headed for a box.
* Please, people, leash your turtles.
* How come evolution didn’t anticipate this kind of problem?
* Wait, in a way the turtle’s design did.
* It happened at 3:16 a.m. – the turtle had been out clubbing.
* Actually he just had a quick beer around 9 and the rest of the night was the walk home.
* It’s tough being a turtle at a nightclub. By the time you make it to the dance floor the song is over.