WOMAN ATTEMPTS TO USE PIZZA SLICE AS I.D.

Amherst, New Hampshire police were called to the Monkey Bar when a woman was asked to show her ID to the doorman, and instead attempted to present a slice of pizza. After being informed that pizza was not a valid means of I.D., the woman slapped the doorman in the face. The woman, 21-year-old Hanna Krueger, was issued a trespass notice to stay away from the bar.
* OK, no pizza. Will they accept a calzone along with maybe a library card?
* Maybe if she arranged the sausage nuggets to form her Social Security number?
* The old Slice ‘n’ Slap.
* She slapped the doorman and the cops slapped her with handcuffs.
* Did the cops arrive in thirty minutes or less?
* Somebody’s had a little too much Crazy Bread.
* Wait – how did the reporter know she was 21? Oh, that’s right – she had the slice of pizza proving it.
* Much like the New York Times gathers its facts these days.
* When I was a teenager, my face could have easily passed for a piece of pizza.
* In this country, pizza is more like currency.
* I’m going to call this one: the woman was wasted.
* The doorman says he told her a slice of pizza wasn’t a valid form of ID? Maybe he said that, but doesn’t that sound like covering your ass a little?
* I’ve got a feeling his explanation came out as two words, “Get lost.”