ELEMENTARY STUDENTS NEARLY EXPELLED FOR SHARING "HAPPY CRACK" (KOOL-AID)

Nine students at Eagles Nest Elementary School in Charleston, South Carolina, were suspended for violating a school drug policy. Their drug of choice: Kool-Aid powder. The students were passing around a new concoction popular among middle schoolers made of red unsweetened Kool Aid mixed with sugar – the equivalent of a Pixie Stick. The slang name for it is “Happy Crack”. The internet says you’re supposed to snort it, but, kids being kids, they usually just eat it with licked fingers. Administrators say possession of any substance, whether illegal or not, that looks like an illegal substance is a violation of a school drug policy. Though all of the students were facing expulsion, the offenses have been reduced to level one infractions, and they were simply suspended.
* Right around Halloween, too. So they can sit home and eat up all the trick-or-treat candy.
* Sorry, but do elementary students really see time off from school as a punishment?
* This is why real Happy Crack junkies always keep a pitcher of water nearby. In case they’re busted, they can say they were just making a batch of refreshing Kool-Aid.
* “Any substance, whether illegal or not, that looks like an illegal substance.” How about normal brownies that look the same as pot brownies?
* At least we’ve moved past the “Cinnamon Snort Challenge.”
* Happy Crack takes on a new meaning once you hit high school.
* I’ve got to hand it to them. The Eagles Nest Elementary School is one cool name.
* But I bet the eagle was pissed off when they showed up.
* Level one infractions? Doesn’t that sound like the totalitarian state?
* “I’m sorry, but you have a level 3 infraction. We must eliminate you.”

* PHONE TOPIC: Have you ever heard of Happy Crack?