MCDONALD'S TWEAKING THE BIG MAC

In the coming months, McDonald’s will be testing out two tweaked versions of its Big Mac. One will be smaller, and the other will be a bigger version of the famous sammich. The miniaturized Big Mac, named the “Mac Jr.,” uses one 1/6 lb. patty, while the beefed up “Grand Mac” uses two 1/6 lb. patties. A classic Big Mac has two 1/10 lb. burgers. Whether the new Macs are added permanently to the menu will depend on sales during the winter promotion.
* While you’re busy trying to figure out the new fractions of ground beef, I’m running across the street to get a Whopper, Jr.
* This is too much math. “If Johnny has three Mac Jr.’s with 1/6 pound patties and Cindy has two Big Mac’s with 1/10 pound patties and Billy has a Grand Mac with 1/6 pound patties, who has the most beef?”
* A larger Big Mac, so even more of it can get cold before you finish it.
* “Mac Jr.” because “L’il Mac” sounds too much like a rapper.
* Wait – wouldn’t a smaller “Big Mac” just be a “Mac”? And a larger “Big Mac” be a “Bigger Mac”?
* And that leaves you some wiggle room to supersize it again and make a “Biggest Mac.”
* A smaller Big Mac? But why would Americans want to eat … less? I’m not connecting with this strategy.
* The Grand Mac … you mean Grand like Grand Mal Seizures?
* Look at me with the fancy medical terms.
* You want to sell more burgers? Put lots of bacon on it and inject it with cheese. Done.
* You can thank me later.
* Grand Mac sounds too French. I’d go with the Ultimate Extreme Mac 2.0 if I were them.