WOMAN STABBED BY HER DOG

A Colorado woman was accidentally stabbed – by her dog. Celinda Haynes of Hudson was rushed to Platte Valley Medical Center last Wednesday with a 4-inch-long gash in her arm. Suspicious hospital workers contacted authorities when Haynes told them she was stabbed by her dog, Mia. Haynes said the incident began when Mia grabbed a freshly sharpened pairing knife in her mouth with the blade pointed outward and down. Haynes said she attempted to use treats to entice Mia to drop the knife, but the dog would not drop her “new toy”. Haynes said that when Mia went over to eat a treat, she ran the knife across her arm and cut a big old gash. “She’s lovable,” Haynes says. “She’ll kill you with kindness.”
* And a knife.
* So, they still haven’t gotten the woman to say what really happened, then.
* With all these movie remakes switching the gender, how about redoing “Cujo” as Cujella”?
* So it’s “Man’s best friend” but not necessarily woman’s.
* I don’t buy the “Man’s Best Friend” thing anyway. We’ve got these dogs on a leash or locked in the house begging to go for a walk. They’re not our friends – they’re our detainees.
* Would you take your best friend to the vet against his will to have his nuts snipped?
* This could have been an accident or it could be the beginning of the doggy rebellion.
* We’re really lucky dogs don’t have opposable thumbs.
* The dog’s name is Mia as in Mea Culpa.