NASA TO HOLD PRESS CONFERENCE ABOUT EUROPA

NASA has called a press conference this coming Monday to announce a breakthrough regarding the Jupiter moon, Europa. NASA sent out a cryptic message stating that there is “surprising activity” on Europa – the most well known of Jupiter’s 67 moons (* the moon Aferika gets the shaft again!). NASA has been analyzing data from its Hubble Space Telescope. They released a statement: “Astronomers will present results from a unique Europa observing campaign that resulted in surprising evidence of activity that may be related to the presence of a subsurface ocean on Europa.” Most scientists agree that where there is water, it massively increases the chances of finding life.
* They’re not calling a press conference because they have a huge revelation. They’re calling a press conference because they’re lonely and they hope some girl reporters will come.
* Oh, just freaking tell us now. What are you waiting for, NASA? Sweeps Week?
* Forget Sweeps Week. With an ocean that big maybe Europa has a Shark Week.
* Wow, imagine if this is the disclosure moment. You’d hate to see a year like this get weird.
* “We have received a message from Europa. It says: ‘Stop sending your sucky television waves into space.'”
* Monday’s also a presidential debate. Coincidence or not? You decide.
* I think NASA is getting ready to reveal that both Donald and Hillary are from Jupiter.
* You have to admit, it would explain a lot.
* Europa, Shmuropa. What about the face-shaped mountain on Mars?