MAN STUCK HEAD-FIRST BETWEEN ROCKS

Rescuers in Narragansett, Rhode Island, spent most of Saturday afternoon trying to free a man who got himself stuck head first between two rocks on the jetty. The man had dropped his phone. When he reached down to pick it up he found himself stuck between two rocks all the way up to his chest. Another man he was with called rescuers, who knew they had to get him out before the tide came in. (* Meh. No they didn’t.) After about two and a half hours they were able to free him by using olive oil and sliding him back out. The man went to a nearby hospital to be treated for hypothermia and a small injury he suffered on his foot while walking away.
* Guy sounds pretty stupid. Was he … stoned?
* The saying is “between a rock and a hard place” – not between two rocks.
* By that way, I bet that’s the man’s least favorite saying right now.
* Now come the “Guess who’s got a big head?” jokes.
* Boy, it’s true what Rachael Ray says – olive oil really IS the greatest!
* If the olive oil didn’t work, their next plan was to call Popeye.
* Boy the guy with him was sitting pretty. “Don’t worry – I can get help. So … what’s it worth to ya?”
* So tell us what really matters: Does the phone still work?
* Too bad it wasn’t Nantucket or we could get a limerick out of it.
* How about if this was “127 Hours”? “The only way I’m going to survive is to cut off my own head.”
* See, this is where most Americans win because they’re too fat to fit between the two rocks.