GUY CUTS DOWN NEIGHBOR'S TREE, IT FALLS BACK ONTO HIS APARTMENT

Raymond Mazzarella of Pittston, Pennsylvania, grabbed a chainsaw and cut down the tree in his neighbor’s yard Saturday afternoon. The tree had branches above Mazzerella’s parking space and would drip sap onto his car. But when Mazzerella cut through the 36-inch wide trunk, the tree fell onto part of his own apartment building. Authorities condemned the apartment building, and the five people who lived there now have to find new places to stay.
* Say what you want, but problem solved.
* Make that, problem SAWved.
* Why did authorities condemn the building? It was the GUY who did it!
* It’s almost perfect. Perfect would have been if the tree crushed his car.
* Never make a split-second decision involving a chainsaw.
* Who’s the sap now, jerk?
* Would the insurance company consider this an Act of God, or an Act of Dumbass?
* Ah, the human race. So good at problem resolution.
* At least they got a couple bucks’ worth of firewood out of the deal.
* This is the dumbest story since yesterday when the guy lied down in front of the drunk driver.