HARRIET TUBMAN ON THE $20 BILL

The U.S. Treasury Department has decided that escaped slave, abolitionist and Union spy Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. There are other changes afoot: they are going to picture leaders of the women’s suffrage movement on the back of the $10 bill, although Alexander Hamilton, the creator of the U.S. Treasury, will remain on the front of the $10 bill. The Department will also start putting pictures of civil rights era leaders and other important moments in American history onto the $5 bill. New designs for the bills should be ready by 2020.
* Just in time for paper money to be phased out entirely.
* Great – something else for Andrew Jackson to look crabby about.
* Actually, Google Andrew Jackson and Harriet Tubman. Apparently neither one of them ever smiled. So we’re still stuck with a sourpuss on the $20.
* Sure, they pick a woman to put on currency, but notice her name has “MAN” in it.
* If it’s only half as popular as the Susan B. Anthony dollar coin.
* Escaped slave, abolitionist and Union spy. Yes, but what has she REALLY done?
* This is only temporary. After the next election all bills will have Donald Trump on them.
* In fact, this one will be called Trump’s 20-Dollar Bill.
* Wow, 19 trillion in debt, but don’t worry, we’re changing the faces on our bills.
* Why not help the deficit – have corporate sponsorship? The Coca-Cola $5 Bill? The Preparation H $20 Bill?
* Let’s be fair: the government also came up with some nice new stamps at the post office.
* Oh, the Post Office is still an economic black hole, but hey, the stamps look pretty.