NY DEMOCRATS COMPLAIN OF T.P. SHORTAGE

New York Democratic state legislators are complaining that the GOP-controlled Senate is not giving them enough toilet paper. Republican Senate Majority Leader John Flanagan is in charge of office expenses and staff budgets for both parties. As part of his role, he attempts to limit spending and cap items. His spokesman insists that Democrats and Republicans all receive exactly the same amount of toilet paper – six rolls at a time. But Democrat Michael Olmeda claims he gets just three rolls a month and the quality of Tork Universal’s single-ply paper was so poor he’s been forced to bring his own rolls in. “This is the crap they send us,” Olmeda says. “Try it out, it will probably cut you.”
* Well, there goes any hope of a campaign contribution from Tork Universal.
* Worst toilet paper slogan ever: “Try it out, it will probably cut you.”
* This is no way to wipe out the deficit.
* The Founding Fathers never had this problem. They used corncobs and leaves.
* Relax, we get these stories from Venezuela all the time … wait, did you say New York?
* So how’s the gridlock between the two parties coming along?
* This is the toilet paper version of why they’ll be no vote on a Supreme Court nominee this year.
* Taken individually, these are just little snags in the system. Take them all at once and you’re seeing a country in decline.
* Maybe they’ll look at single-pay healthcare someday, but right now it’s all about single-ply toilet paper.