THE THIEVING NUN

Pennsylvania state police nabbed a very unlikely shoplifter: a nun. Workers at the Surplus Outlet near Berwick say the nun stole $23 worth of food and toiletries from the business on Monday afternoon. The crime was caught on the store’s surveillance camera. Video shows her leaving by the front door. When someone coming triggers the automatic door open, she makes a run for it, taking $23 worth of snacks, coffee, soap, and shampoo with her. Workers were able to get the license plate number from the car, and police say that car is owned by the nuns at Saints Cyril and Methodius Convent in Danville. Arrested was Agnes Pennino, 78. The convent declined to comment.
* But they did sing a little song to police: “How do you solve a problem like Penino?”
* Once you shoplift, it’s hard to break the habit.
* She should have some scruples, but she has nun.
* Twisted Sister!
* Saints Cyril and Methodius Convent? Couldn’t they make up their minds?
* What is going on with religion? Yesterday, we had the obese monks in Thailand and now we have this.
* Sounds like someone is looking at some serious penance time.
* Just curious. Has anyone seen the collection plate lately?
* A 78-year-old nun running with stolen goods? You don’t see that everyday.
* Now more than ever, Orange is the New Black.
* I think I know her defense: The devil made her do it.