POLICE ARREST SHOPLIFTING LOSER

Police in Murrieta, California on Saturday arrested a man on suspicion of shoplifting tools from a Walmart. His name: Brady Loser. After police arrived on the scene, Loser, 48, reportedly gave the arriving officers permission to search his vehicle, which bore two different stolen license plates. During the search, officers reportedly found drug paraphernalia and several “brand new tools” in the trunk. Loser allegedly admitted to stealing the tools earlier in the day.
* He let them search his vehicle? Talk about a loser move.
* Usually people claim they’re a victim when they’re not, but being named Loser? He’s a victim.
* I wonder how many time he was teased, rounded off to the nearest million.
* Anyone of us could have ended up on drugs after that.
* Even motivational quotes don’t work. “This is the first day of the rest of your life, Loser.”
* This guy didn’t stand a chance. He was literally a born Loser.
* Doesn’t he realize you can change your name for, like, 200 bucks? What a loser!
* Hey, at least he embraced his destiny.
PHONE TOPIC: Do you or someone you know have an unfortunate name?