WIFE BEATS HUSBAND WHO DID NOT BUY HER A VALENTINE'S GIFT

Deputies in Belpre, Ohio, responded to a call where they discovered an adult male with several injuries, including a large knot on his head. He claimed his wife, 46-year-old Kimberly Hammond had been drinking, and that after a verbal altercation, she began to hit and scratch his face. He says she then grabbed a mini baseball bat and hit him in the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. She continued to attack him as he regained consciousness. When officials asked Kimberly Hammond about the incident, she said she was upset that her husband did not get her a gift for Valentine’s Day. She admitted to drinking and blew a .221 during a breathalyzer test. She was arrested for felonious assault and domestic violence.
* How do you forget to buy a gift for such a sweet woman?
* I mean everyday with this woman is Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?
* I bet he remembers next year. If she’s out of jail by then.
* How about a gift certificate for anger management classes?
* We have another story today about an algorithm that tells you if you should stay in a relationship. I don’t think these two need it.
* I always thought that’d make a great name for a musician: Felonious Assault.
* It could have been worse. It could have been a REGULAR size baseball bat.
* If only he hadn’t taunted her by chanting, “Batter batter batter batter …”
* A mini baseball bat … you know … like the Philadelphia Phillies were swinging last season.
* I think she blew a higher breathalyzer number then their team batting average.