CAT BURGLAR ARRESTED

Vermont State Police have arrested a 54-year-old man in connection with taking a cat from a home. Mark Frady was charged with burglary and unlawful trespass. He pleaded not guilty Wednesday. A judge ordered a competency evaluation. Police say Frady stole a cat named “Boots” from a family in Troy after saying he was looking for his own cat. They believe Mr. Frady is behind the theft of two other pets in the area. Police said Frady was found in the family’s home Saturday and was asked to leave. The family said they have security camera footage of Frady taking Boots. Police say Frady returned twice. The family says they chased Frady out of their basement after finding him watching TV, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.
* A cat thief named Frady. Are you kidding me?
* They named the cat “Boots” because “Whiskers” would have sounded too original.
* What’s the cat’s first name? “Puss In”?
* Unlawful trespass? So I guess lawful trespass is when you don’t get caught.
* Wait, he was found in a family’s home and they asked him to leave? Did they say “pretty please” when they asked him?
* I know Vermont is a polite place but that’s ridiculous.
* How about giving the family a competency evaluation? There’s something wrong with them, too.
* “Just let met sit here ’til the TV show is over. And do you have an ashtray?”
* I’m guessing we probably don’t want to know what became of Boots the cat.
* Time to switch to a watchdog.