SANITATION WORKER FALSELY CLAIMS HE WAS BEATEN

A New York City sanitation worker, Michael Morelli, 31, told his girlfriend he was assaulted while clearing snow around a fire hydrant in Queens Wednesday morning. He told police he had been pistol-whipped. When questioned, his story fell apart, and he confessed that he had actually been beaten up by two men after he patronized a prostitute. Morelli was issued a ticket for allegedly filing a false report.
* At least he was plowing something.
* If only he had passed on the prostitute and whipped his own pistol.
* I like how he tried to make it noble: “I was just trying to clear a fire hydrant because I’m a good citizen.”
* The only problem: The fire was in his pants.
* Who does that? “Honey, it’s snowing a lot. Forget shoveling the sidewalk. Let’s focus on clearing the fire hydrants first.”
* Sounds like he was getting his own pipes cleaned.
* Lying to the police? That’s a ticket. Lying to the girlfriend? That’s a major problem.