MAN HAD METH LAB IN HIS PANTS

Cedar Rapids, Iowa, police responding to a report of a suspicious man on Monday. 46-year-old Genio Ruiz and a woman were stopped by officers. They noticed Ruiz had a “chemical odor.” Police searched Ruiz and found 16.5 grams of marijuana on him and a 20 ounce pop bottle tucked in the waistband of his pants. The bottle contained a “cloudy substance” and lithium battery strips. Police said that it is what is known as a “one pot” style portable meth lab. Ruiz was arrested and charged with manufacturing a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance and two counts of possession of meth precursors.
* The bottle was in the waistband of his pants. And in the back of his pants, he had crack.
* Guess where he had the Bunsen burner.
* Breaking Trousers.
* There’s a band name you don’t want: The Meth Precursors.
* They play really fast for 17 hours straight.
* It’s nice to see my old high school lab partner keeping busy.
* You think Cedar Rapids is rapid now – wait till you try it on meth.

Today Is…

WEDNESDAY – Mar 4

TUESDAY – Mar 3

MONDAY – March 2

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 4

TUESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 3

MONDAY ALMANAC – March 2

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 4

TUESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 3

MONDAY TRIVIA – March 2

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE

No lie.

JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE

With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.

ACTOR AWARD WINNERS

Some you know, some you don’t.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED

Give me some space, cowboy.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

BROADWAY CANCELED SECOND NIGHT OF PERFORMANCES DUE TO BLIZZARD

“How do I get to Broadway?” “Practice, and a dogsled.”

TOM HANKS FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY ABE LINCOLN

Coming to a theater near you in four score months.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after 6 months…

posted March 4

The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor says, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. And your brother named them for you.” Woman says, “No, not my idiot brother! What did he name the girl?” Doctor says, “Denise.” Woman says, “Well, that’s a nice name. What did he name the boy?” Doctor says, “Denephew.”

What’s grey?

posted March 3

A melted penguin.

A cabbie picks up a nun.

posted March 2

After a few minutes, the cabbie says, “Sister, I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.” The nun says, “I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.” Cabbie says, “Alright… I´ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.” She says “Well… are you single?” He says, “Yes.” She says, “Are you Catholic?” He says, “Absolutely!” Nun says, “Pull into that alley.” He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass. As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying. The nun says, “My dear child, why are you crying?” He says “Forgive me, Sister… I´ve sinned. I lied. I´m married … and I´m Jewish.” The nun says “That´s okay. My name´s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”