MAN TRIES TO ROB AIRLINE WITH BORROWED SCISSORS

A man asked to borrow a pair of scissors from an employee at O’Hare Airport in Chicago, then tried to use them to rob the airline. Edwin Sanchez walked up to a 55-year-old woman working at an American Airlines counter last Tuesday afternoon and asked to borrow scissors. After getting his hands on the plastic-handled scissors, he jumped the counter and demanded cash. Police quickly arrested him, and no one was injured. Once he was cuffed, Sanchez told cops he attempted the heist because “American Airlines has a lot of money” and he was “going to rob the whole American Airlines and work my way down the line.”
* I like a robber with a sound plan.
* The overhead bin in his head sure isn’t full. Am I wrong?
* I love it when they’ve reasoned their plan through and are prepared to defend it.
* You idiot! Nobody buys plane tickets with cash! The airport gift shops is where the real money is!
* By the way folks, if you need scissors, American Airlines’ entire supply is now on eBay.
* From now on, if anyone on their staff needs to cut anything, they’ve been told to use their teeth.
* He’s going to work his way down the line all right. The line of convicts who want to have sex with him.
* He does realize that airports are probably the most heavily guarded place in America, right?