WOMAN MAULED BY BEAR; BEAR REPELLENT DID NOT HELP

A 20-year-old woman was mauled by a brown bear Tuesday near a popular recreation spot on Alaska’s Kenai Peninsula. The woman suffered bites and scratches to her head, back and arm. She was conscious and breathing when emergency personnel reached her and her injuries were not life-threatening. She was flown to an Anchorage hospital. The woman tried to use bear repellent but found it did not help.
* What does bear repellent smell like? I mean, they eat everything, so what can possibly drive them away?
* She should have tried showing it that new Adam Sandler movie “Pixels”. That’ll drive anything away.
* Now what we have to do is get the bears to read the bear repellant label more closely.
* Hey, if she’s still alive, I say the bear repellant worked.
* I guess if we used pepper spray that would be considered mean.
* How about Tasers?
* Okay, bear repellent, but in a Super Soaker.
* I still would rather take my chances on land than in the water with a Great White shark.
* This might have been a popular recreation spot last week but not anymore.
* Scratches? Having a bear claw rake your skin will give you a lot more than scratches.