DAD TEACHING DAUGHTER ABOUT GUN SAFETY SHOOTS HER IN ARM

A father in the town of Davie, Florida, who was teaching his 12-year-old daughter about gun safety accidentally shot her in the arm Sunday night. The girl was taken to an area hospital with injuries that were not life-threatening.
* Worked.
* Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t teach, shoot you in the arm.
* The next gun safety lesson he gives her is going to be awkward: “Okay, honey, picking up where we left off …”
* I’m sure dad already has the cartons of cigarettes lined up to teach her the dangers of smoking.
* As far as her education goes, it was a real shot in the arm.
* No, I’m not kidding. It was a real shot in the arm.
* This is one of those ones where no matter how bad it hurt her, it hurt the dad worse.
* Of course, that’s easy for us to say. We didn’t get shot in the arm.
* Do we even have to ask where this happened? I scanned the page when my eyes landed on that all-too-familiar name in the wacky news business: Florida. It’s always Florida.

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PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE

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JOKE OF THE DAY

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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after 6 months…

posted March 4

The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor says, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. And your brother named them for you.” Woman says, “No, not my idiot brother! What did he name the girl?” Doctor says, “Denise.” Woman says, “Well, that’s a nice name. What did he name the boy?” Doctor says, “Denephew.”

What’s grey?

posted March 3

A melted penguin.

A cabbie picks up a nun.

posted March 2

After a few minutes, the cabbie says, “Sister, I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.” The nun says, “I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.” Cabbie says, “Alright… I´ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.” She says “Well… are you single?” He says, “Yes.” She says, “Are you Catholic?” He says, “Absolutely!” Nun says, “Pull into that alley.” He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass. As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying. The nun says, “My dear child, why are you crying?” He says “Forgive me, Sister… I´ve sinned. I lied. I´m married … and I´m Jewish.” The nun says “That´s okay. My name´s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”