FRIEND DROPS SHOOTING VICTIM OFF AT WALMART

Police in Miramar, Florida, say a shooting victim was taken by a friend to a South Florida Walmart instead of a hospital and left outside the store. The victim was suffering from a gunshot wound when he was left outside the store Monday afternoon. He was later taken to a hospital for treatment and was listed in stable condition. Police are still trying to determine where the shooting happened but say that it wasn’t the store or in the parking lot. The victim hasn’t been cooperative with investigators.
* “Hello, I’d like to return this bullet?”
* “As long as we’re here, can I pick up a cheap window fan? My apartment doesn’t have AC.”
* Hey, the bandages they charge you $200 for at the hospital are only three bucks at Walmart.
* You know you’re wasted if you think Walmart looks like a hospital.
* The victim was having a bad day, but at least he got a friendly “Hello” from the Walmart greeter.
* Shooting victims showing up at Walmart? As if working there doesn’t suck enough.
* It’s sort of like the movie “Airplane!”: “You’ve been shot. We’re taking you to Walmart.” “What is it?” “It’s a store that looks like a hospital but we don’t have time to talk about that now.”
* I’m beginning to think wacky news participants drive across state lines just so these stories will show up in Florida.
* Maybe Florida is like the portal of a wormhole that funnels wackiness in from the rest of the universe.