POLICE SEEK ENERGY DRINK THIEF

Police in Columbus, Ohio, are looking for a man accused of stealing 103 cases of 5-Hour Energy products from three different local grocery-store shelves. Corey Jay Meadows, 30, has been named the Fugitive of the Week by the Columbus City Attorney’s Office. Meadows allegedly stole the energy supplements on at least three occasions. On May 25, Meadows entered a Meijer grocery store and swept his arm across shelves stocked with the energy drinks, knocking every pack off the shelves and into his cart, and then fled. When confronted, Meadows abandoned the overloaded shopping cart and jumped into a getaway car. On April 25, Meadows “cleaned out the entire shelf” of 5-Hour Energy from a different Meijer store, stealing 64 assorted cases. Meadows also is believed to be connected to another theft of more 5-Hour Energy drinks from a third Meijer store.
* Wow. Where does he get the the energy for all that robbing? Oh, right.
* Police describe Meadows as armed and shaky.
* He better hope they don’t catch him. 5-hours can turn into 5 years really quick.
* Geez, how much crime do they have in Columbus, Ohio if they even name a Fugitive of the Week?
* It’s quite an honor really, and it makes you eligible to win the Fugitive of the Year.
* And if they catch you, you also become eligible to be Prison Bride of the Month.
* He just steals this one product? See? That’s what’s wrong with society. Too many specialists.