LOCAL MAN WANTS TO BAN FARTS

Last week, the City of Pendleton, Oregon, updated its nuisance ordinances to cover the smell of marijuana. This means that even though recreational marijuana will be legal in Oregon starting in July, a person can be fined up to $500 if someone complains they smell marijuana coming from that person’s property. In a letter published in the East Oregonian on Thursday, a citizen named Peter Walters asked that council members take the next logical step. He wrote: “It was with great relief Thursday when I read in the East Oregonian that Pendleton’s city council took the time to pass an amendment to the city’s nuisance ordinance banning marijuana odor. Clearly, there has been no issue of greater importance facing the city. Now that this important work has been completed I hope that the council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts. Some habitual farters argue that they need to fart for medical reasons but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts.”
* Especially bad: Marijuana farts.
* He’s worried about his kids smelling other people’s farts? But I thought “He who smelt it, dealt it”?
* Would this make beans an accessory to the crime?
* Something tells me he’s being sarcastic.
* For one thing, I’m sure his kids fart too.
* Ahh, nice to see Oregon tackling the great legal issues of our time.
* Isn’t this a Freedom of Speech issue? Isn’t a fart really just talking out your ass?
* What’s next? Fine everyone who has alcohol on their breath?