DRUNK MAN ASKS COPS, "WHAT STATE AM I IN?"

Police in the town of York, South Carolina, were called to a wreck last Wednesday evening. They found James Macheron Goard, 41, of Mount Holly, N.C., lying on the ground next to his vehicle, which had struck a utility pole and knocked down several power lines. Once up and walking, Goard was reportedly unsteady on his feet and smelled of alcohol. When asked by the officer how much he had to drink, he reportedly said he had three beers. Goard then asked the officer what state he was in. When told he was in South Carolina, Goard reportedly wondered aloud how he got to South Carolina when he lived in Mt. Holly, North Carolina. Goard reportedly failed a field sobriety test and was taken in to the police station.
* …where he checked himself into a cell, just like Otis on the Andy Griffith Show.
* You’re in the state of inebriation, my friend.
* Three beers. “Oh, you mean BEFORE I got in the car? I lost count.”
* Let’s start with what planet you’re on.
* And believe me there’s some doubt.
* Then we’ll narrow it down to a country.
* And finally, we can answer what state this is for you.
* You know…once you have the background.