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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
DISNEYLAND FLOODS
Buzz Lightyear Astro Splashters.
“CARRIE” INEXPLICABLY COMING BACK FOR SEASON 2
Money, uh, finds a way.
JAMES BOND AUDITIONS THIS WEEKEND
How are you at running across alligators?
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
TOM CRUISE TO GET AFI LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD
Despite Digger.
EX-SPOUSES OF GMA AFFAIR COUPLE GETTING MARRIED
Trading spouses.
SPOTIFY REMOVES 50 MILLION A.I. TRACKS (FROM RECOMMENDATIONS)
They removed NBA legend Allen Iverson?
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What do you call a vampire who works as a fry cook?
Count Spatula.
Who did Dr. Frankenstein invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
Where do werewolves live?
Warehouses.
What does Jeff Bezos do just before going to the bed?
He puts his pajAMAZON.
Why don’t monsters like to eat ghosts?
They taste like sheet.
U.S. NEWS
COMPANY WILL PAY $20/HOUR TO WALK ROBOT DOG
If (($squirrel -eq $Tree -Filter “:” “furry” ++) = “Bark”
THIEVES TAKE THREE THOUSAND POUNDS OF CRAB LEGS
How shellfish of them.
WAR ON HALLOWEEN: SCHOOL CREATES “ORANGE AND BLACK SPIRIT DAY”
Adults are so stupid.
MAN ON THE WRONG ROAD SAVES FAMILY FROM FIRE
Everyday hero.
CHEERIOS INTRODUCES RESEALABLE BAGS
60 years in the making.
MURDERER OFFERS GUILTY PLEA IN EXCHANGE FOR A CHEESESTEAK
Take the deal, your honor.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
NEW DWARF PLANET FOUND BEYOND PLUTO
Planety McPlanetface
“ENDLESS CRUISE” ENDS BADLY
យូរម្ល៉េះ បឺតជញ្ជក់។
LONDONERS USE E-BIKES FOR JOUSTING
How British.
JAPANESE SHOE INSOLE THIEF CAUGHT
♫♪ He’s a sole man… ♪♪
CANDIDATE WINS DESPITE GAG CAMPAIGN SIGNS
“I barely want to do this.”
FIRST DRONE EVACUATION OF A SOLDIER EVER
Ukraine does it again.
THE GREAT DUTCH BARBERSHOP WAR
♪♫ Shave and a haircut, BAM BOOM!! ♪♪
BRITISH MAN’S DYING WISH: KISS A COW
Before he buys the farm, he wanted to visit it.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Tree Of Horror
Charlie’s Wookiees
Flamingos: Nature’s Scavengers
Teen Pumpkin
Another Salvadore Dali Picture
It Is Balloon
THE BUZZ
EXCUSES FOR TARDINESS THAT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE
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GEN Z IS SO, SO LONELY
That’s what kids are for, you idiots.
HOUSE BUYING CAUSES SEVERE STRESS, TEARS
Congrtatulations on your new home. Here’s a box of Kleenex.
TOP IMPULSE BUYS
Ladies, this one’s on you.
STUDY: MUSIC MAKES FOOD TASTE BETTER
“Eat It” – “Weird” Al Yankovic.
UNPOPULAR OPINIONS
You’re wrong.
SURVEY: AVERAGE AMERICAN SETS FOUR ALARMS TO WAKE UP
Snooze you lose.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
CHRISTMAS AT THE KRINGLES
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
THE MONGOOSE
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
THE ONLY LIVING PICKPOCKET IN NEW YORK
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
CLAYFACE
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
SONG: IT’S ELECTION TIME
The Nightmare Before Tuesday.
A & M AUTOLAND – HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS
Al and Mike’s new promotion isn’t too bright – but the burning car is!
THE PUNCHIN PATCH
Support local farmers.
PROPOSITION 20: SAY NO, VOTE YES
Or is it say Yes, vote No?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 23.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR 2026
Will you survive the horror? Oh, wait – you already have.
A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
SLASHER TELEPORTER
So THAT’S how they do it.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 16.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Contest
Al and Mike won’t play games with you like other car dealers. They’ll play MORE.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 9.
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