96-YEAR-OLD WOMAN THROWS RAGERS AT HER RETIREMENT APARTMENT
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
DOLLY PARTON OPENS TRUCK STOP
You coulda fueled me.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
POP SONGS GETTING MEANER
Degradation +52%… Harm +49%… Cheating +48%…
BAILEY ZIMMERMAN ARRESTED FOR TRASHING HOTEL ROOM
Morgan Wallen, look over your shoulder.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
NETFLIX TO MAKE A “SESAME STREET” MOVIE
Now all we need is a plot.
OLIVIA RODRIGO CAN SMELL THE FANS WEARING ADULT DIAPERS
Every concert? No. Depends.
ANIMATED “SURVIVOR” MOVIE
Talking animals! Hilarious!
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Does R2-D2 have any brothers?
No. Only trans-sisters.
Did you know the head of IKEA was elected president of Sweden?
He is currently assembling his Cabinet.
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
Did you know the man who invented the speedboat died?
His funeral is tomorrow, followed by a wake.
A gingerbread man goes to the doctor.
He says, “My knee hurts.” Doctor says, “Have you tried icing it?”
U.S. NEWS
AMERICAN TIME CAPSULE
See you in 250 years.
GREAT AMERICAN STATE FAIR NOT OFF TO A GREAT AMERICAN START
The state of America.
MAN SHOOTS BB GUN AT NAKED BIKE RIDERS
Crack pot is a crack shot.
COUPLE HAS THIRD SET OF TWINS
Spare me.
POLICE BUST DONATION BIN GANG
They’re stealing stuff nobody wants.
BLOW-DART BANDIT ARRESTED
Point well taken.
GIRAFFE MISSING IN TEXAS
Those things can be so darn sneaky.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
BANK ROBBER ESCAPES ON SCOOTER, TWICE
Gotta scoot, bye!
ROBOT TOILET COMES WHEN CALLED
How commodious.
BRITISH ICE CREAM STAND CLOSES DUE TO HEAT
They all scream.
THE WORLD’S LOUDEST PERSON: 122 DECIBELS
Loud and proud.
CITY GRANTS RIGHTS TO TREES
Freedom of beech.
POLICE INVESTIGATE DISAPPEARANCE OF MAGICIAN
Trick worked a little too well.
CHINESE MAN STEALS, CUTS UP ELEVATOR DOOR
What a downer.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Why Is This Man Smiling?
Beverage Service Is Awesome On This Flight
Meanwhile, In The Ice Refrigerator Hoth…
The Incredible Folding Girl
Awesome Cake!
Is it, Though?
THE BUZZ
IF ONE SOUND COULD BE ELIMINATED
Now hear this.
LUXURY ITEMS THAT ARE A NIGHTMARE
Cancel that order on the European castle.
ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PEOPLE STILL LIVING WITH THEIR PARENTS
And what ever happened to boarding houses?
MINOR HABITS LEAD TO BREAKUPS
Stop that!
DUMB HEADLINES
Have listeners vote for the dumbest one!
CURSES!
It should happen to you.
NO LONGER YOUNG
Same old story.
A TRASHED-OUT CAR IS A TURN-OFF
That box with the dead cat in it isn’t helping.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
JACKASS 5: BEST AND LAST
Starts Friday, June 26 in theaters.
SUPERGIRL
Starts Friday, June 26 in theaters.
TOY STORY 5
Starts Friday, June 19 in theaters.
THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD
Starts Friday, June 19 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
BI-PARTISAN BIDET (CLEAN VERSION)
Stay clean no matter which way you lean!
BI-PARTISAN BIDET (UNCENSORED VERSION)
Warning: This is the naughty version.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 26.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Minutes From Anywhere
You’re only minutes from A&M. Just don’t ask how many.
THE DEATH OF ROBIN HOOD
It’s right there in the title.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 19.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – LEMONS
A & M Autoland has more lemons than ever before!
NON-TRADITIONAL FATHER’S DAY
Or, rather, Fathers’ Day.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, June 12.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Service Computer
A & M’s service department becomes fully computerized. Briefly.
RENAISSANCE FAIRE II
Ye olde funne awaites.
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