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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
BRITNEY SPEARS GETS A YEAR PROBATION
Wet reckless.
JEFF BEZOS SELLING $500 MILLION YACHT
Lauren Sánchez’ wooden breasts included.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
BARBIE POSTAGE STAMPS
Ken shafted again.
LISA KUDROW SAYS ALL THE “FRIENDS” GET $20 MILLION A YEAR IN RESIDUALS
A friend in need, indeed.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
MEN: COMPLIMENT YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU GO ON “WHEEL OF FORTUNE”
__ R __ L S __.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Did you hear about the man who died after he fell into a vat of coffee?
At least it was instant.
Psychiatrist has a new patient.
Says, “I have to do an assessment about your habits. Do you drink?”
The patient says, “No.” “Smoke?” “No.” “Do drugs?” “No.” “Cheat on your wife?” “Never.” “Amazing,” says the shrink. “Any bad habits at all?” The patient says, “Yeah. Lying.”
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
A doctor amputates a guy’s finger.
Guy asks, “Can still write with that hand?”
Doctor says, “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
What’s a rabbit’s favorite whiskey?
Hop scotch.
U.S. NEWS
ROBOT WALKS THE MET GALA RED CARPET
Photograph me. You have ten seconds to comply.
FREE FIREHOUSE SUB ON WEDNESDAY IF YOUR NAME IS MIKE
There IS such a thing as a free lunch.
MAN HIDES IN BEST BUY STORE OVERNIGHT AHEAD OF POKEMON CARD RELEASE
Pikachu, I arrest you.
OZEMPIC BREATH REAPS REWARDS FOR HERSHEY BREATH MINTS
Unintended consequences.
POLICE FIND BAG WITH 363 HOT WHEELS IN IT
And here I went with stupid Beanie Babies.
LOW SOUND WAVES CAN EXTINGUISH FIRES
Drop that bass!
GUY GETS OUT OF JAIL, IMMEDIATELY STEALS A FIRE TRUCK
Now he’s hosed.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
HOW KIDS SUBVERT WEBSITE AGE VERIFICATION: FAKE MUSTACHES
Hello, fellow adults!
MUST LOVE DOGS
Hot diggety!
TIMMY THE WHALE IS BACK OUT TO SEA
“Is anyone here a marine biologist?”
CHICKENS KILLED BY LOUD WEDDING MUSIC
Another dumb cluck DJ.
TIMMY THE STRANDED WHALE NOW BEING BARGED TO OPEN WATER
A whale now? Whatever happened to Punch the shunned monkey?
SWIMMER SETS RECORD IN CROC-INFESTED RIVER
The secret: never smile (at a crocodile).
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Enter, If You Dare
American Buffalo
Grrr
What The Hell
Gimme a P! Gimme an O!…
Waiting For A Bus
THE BUZZ
TERRIFYING NOISES
MOOMP MOOMP MOOMP MOOMP…BLAAARP.
AUDIO: LATEST TRENDS IN BABY NAMES
Hi, Honey. Hello, Halo.
WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING YOU KEEP IN YOUR CAR?
Because you never know.
DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest headline.
RADIO CONTEST: KENTUCKY DERBY HORSE OR TOP 20 POP SONG?
And they’re off!
SHOCKING STUDY: MEN EAT MEAT TO FEEL MANLY
blah…blah… blah… environmental sustainability.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
HOKUM
Starts Friday, August 1 in theaters.
ANIMAL FARM
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
DEEP WATER
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
SONG PARODY: TANK OF GAS
What decade is this again?
STAR WARS BABIES
Baby Yoda!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 1.
HEADLINE PARK 2026
For air May 1. The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday, May 2!
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Save 112 Percent
Ordinarily, Al and Mike can’t even pay people to take their cars – but during this sale, they will!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, April 24.
RETRO SONG: BLACK OR WHITE, BY MICHAEL JACKSON
One or our classics.
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON’S WEDDING ALBUM
Here comes the groom!
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON’S FACE MELT
Tito, get me a towel.
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON: THE WHITE ALBUM
Michael sings the whites.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Iron
Big Al’s latest promotion isn’t so hot, and Big Mike gets steamed.
PROM: WHISTLE STOP
It’s not hard to have a nice lawn.
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