AUDIO: WOMAN TOSSED A STICK OF DYNAMITE AT BOYFRIEND

Hop scotch.

The guy argues that he thought it was a common Sandhill crane — not endangered. The judge understood and dismissed the case. As the guy’s leaving the courtroom, the judge says, “By the way, what did the whooping crane taste like?” Guy says, “It tastes like bald eagle.”

Pissed-achio

Should I stay or should Eggo?

One goes in and asks a clerk for some four-by-twos. “You mean two-by-fours?” the clerk asks. The redneck says, “I’ll go check.” He goes back to the car, asks his buddy, and returns a minute later. “Yeah, two-by-fours will be fine,” he tells the clerk. “All right,” says the clerk. “And how long?” “Just a minute,” says the redneck,” and heads back out to the car. A minute later he comes back and tells the clerk. “A long time. We’re buildin’ a garage.”