BUS DRIVER FIRED FOR LETTING WOMAN SIT IN HIS LAP WHILE DRIVING

The bartender says,, “What makes you say that?” Guy says, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. She was so thrilled to have me around, that every time the mailman or a delivery man came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

Because he really wanted to be a Smartie.

He had some Twix up his sleeve.

He husband says, “Can we change the subject?” Wife says, “Alright. More chores around the house need to be done by you.”

Because he was a little chicken.