THE PURDUE PEANUT BUTTER MAN

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”

He died in the line of dooty.

He says, “Father, I just committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily made love to his wife, and then ate all of his groceries. And I didn’t share anything.” Priest says, “You forgot pride.” Guy says, “No, I’m pretty proud of myself for this.”

The counter guy points to the shelf and said “There, just look at them”.

A shoe.