THE WORST AIRPORT FOR LOSING LUGGAGE: MIAMI

Arka, a California-based provider of custom shipping packaging, has analyzed data to identify which airports are the most prone to baggage loss. The title of “worst hub for handling luggage” went to Miami International Airport, whose code letter just happen to be MIA (Missing In Action!). According to Akra’s survey, 52 million passengers go through the Miami airport each year and it loses roughly 306 bags for every million flights and 5.5 bags per 1,000 passengers.
– Coming in at No. 2 is Chicago O’Hare International Airport. Third is Singapore’s Changi Airport.
* Here’s how bad it is: this story came out in March, but it went through Miami and we’re just getting it now.
* Honestly, if you fly with anything beyond paper bag with a toothbrush and a change of underwear, you’re just asking for it.
* You should know that your lost suitcase is going to build an artificial dike in front of Miami to keep the sea from rising.

Today Is…

THURSDAY – Mar 19

WEDNESDAY – Mar 18

TUESDAY – Mar 17

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TODAY’S ALMANAC

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Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

THURSDAY TRIVIA – Mar 19

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ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

SHIA LABEOUF IN HIS ___ IN AN _ LOBBY

Mad Libs!

REALITY TV STAR WINNER OF THE IDITAROD DOGSLED RACE

The dogs had something to do with it, too.

ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST

WInner winner, not for Sinners.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST

Ptthhhhhht!

SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD

Big Bird, big lawsuit.

HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE

How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?

OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS

In which luxury companies get their names mentioned on the radio.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”