DON’T SAY THIS AT WORK

Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job” has come up with a list of things you should never say at your workplace.
These make you seem untrustworthy:
1. “THIS IS A SECRET, BUT … ”
2. “I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU THIS … ”
3. “I SWORE I WOULDN’T REPEAT THIS.”
4. “IF YOU REPEAT THIS, I’M GOING TO DENY I EVER SAID IT.”
5. “I REALLY DON’T WANT HAVE TO DO THIS, BUT … ”
6. “I’M NOT GONNA LIE.”
7. “DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST?”
8. “DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH?”
9. “TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH … ”
10. “TRUST ME … ” OR “HONESTLY … ”

These phrases make you seem wishy-washy:
11. “I BELIEVE SO.”
12. “FOR NOW, YES … ”
13. “I CAN’T PROMISE THIS, BUT …
14. “I’LL TRY… ”
15. “THIS IS UNOFFICIAL.”
16. “GOOD LUCK!”
17. “YOU KNOW BEST.”
18. “I’M NOT SAYING THAT … ”

These make you sound like an uncaring idiot:
19. “I’M SURE YOU’LL DO SOMETHING FOR ME SOMEDAY.”
20. “IF I OFFENDED YOU, I’M SORRY.”
21. “MY BAD.”
22. “S–T HAPPENS.”
23. “SORRY, BUT … ”

These are just ‘bluster’:
24.” I’LL GET BACK TO YOU.”
25. “DON’T OVER-THINK IT.”
26. “I’M NOT WORRIED.”
27. “EVERYONE THINKS THAT YOU ARE … ”
28. “JUST BE HAPPY THAT … ”
29. “YOU’RE LUCKY THINGS TURNED OUT THE WAY THEY DID THIS TIME.”
* Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert, sounds like she’s never spent time in an office.
* I’d be happy if just one person around here ever said, “Sorry – that was me.”
* “How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior”? Good luck with that.
* “Thrive in Your Job”? Yeah, that’ll happen.
* Some other things you shouldn’t say at work:
– “Got any booze in your desk?”
– “So, who around here puts out?”
– “No, seriously, when do you REALLY want this finished?”
* Wait, one of these is actually “Don’t over-think it”? That would have been good advice before they started this list.
* And all these are written in capital letters so it feels like someone shouting at me.
* A national workplace expert? Give me a break with that.
* Next up: The proper way to decorate your cubicle.
* Has one of these self-help books ever actually helped anyone? I didn’t think so.