WARNING: DON’T USE VAGINAL HERB BALLS

Women are being warned about the dangers of a “womb detox” product after health experts said it could cause irritation and even toxic shock syndrome. A U.S. firm called Embrace Pangaea is selling “Herbal Womb Detox Pearls” online, claiming the product “aids to correct” conditions such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts and thrush. The pearls – small balls of perfumed herbs – claim to promote “vaginal tightening”, which it says works by “tightening the womb” so the “vaginal canal will shrink”. The company says the herb pearls are designed to “cleanse the womb and return it to a balance state” by flushing out “toxins”. But a sexual health expert insisted that not only were the “pearls” ineffective, but they could be dangerous. Dr. Jen Gunter, an American gynecologist, wrote a blog post debunking the company’s claims and saying these types of products – and the herbs used in them – have not been tested for vaginal use. She writes: “Your uterus isn’t tired or depressed or dirty and your vagina has not misplaced its chakra. It wants no real help from you unless there is something wrong and they will tell you there is something wrong by bleeding profusely or itching or cramping badly or producing an odor.” She explained that the vagina was like “a self-cleaning oven” and putting anything like this in the vagina for long periods of time will increase the likelihood of bad bacteria growing and causing infection.
* Thanks for the mental image, doc.
* If anyone knows what getting “thrush” in your vagina is, do not call and tell us.
* The vagina is like “a self-cleaning oven”, except for the part where it maintains a temperature of 650 degrees for six hours.
* Do not use “Herbal Womb Detox Pearls”, and do not use oven cleaner, either.
* That reminds me – I gotta bake the lasagna tonight.
* The message here is, keep Herb’s balls away from your hoo-hah.
* The product aims to correct these medical problems? No, it aims to make some money for this company.
* That’s why they didn’t bother testing it. That could only slow the process down.
* One giveaway: The celebrity spokesman is Caitlyn Jenner.
* And don’t ask where she shoves the balls.