SNAKE SMUGGLER HAD BULGING PANTS

A Sri Lankan man is accused of trying to illegally smuggle snakes out of Thailand. Airport security in Bangkok noticed some bulges in his pants, and while searching his underwear they found three ball pythons in a sack. (* Who’s writing this?) The man had been previously arrested on wildlife crimes in Sri Lanka in 2024; in the past he had tried to smuggle wolves, meerkats, sugar gliders, porcupines, iguanas, frogs, salamanders, turtles and cockatoos.
* Yeah, I bet they found a cockatoo in his pants. Or three, even.
* Porcupines? Ouch!!!
* I guess it’s good the security people are checking out peoples’ crotches. Well, maybe “good” isn’t the word.
* Snakes On A Plane In Some Pants. Not a movie I’d want to see.
* While in his pants, one of the snakes had fallen in love.

Today Is…

THURSDAY – Mar 19

WEDNESDAY – Mar 18

TUESDAY – Mar 17

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TODAY’S TRIVIA

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ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

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SHIA LABEOUF IN HIS ___ IN AN _ LOBBY

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The dogs had something to do with it, too.

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THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST

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SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD

Big Bird, big lawsuit.

HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE

How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?

OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS

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JOKE OF THE DAY

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What did the octopus say to the bagpipes?

posted March 19

“Nice pajamas.”

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”