CASKET FOUND ABANDONED BY SIDE OF THE ROAD

An abandoned casket was found left by the side of the road in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. The casket was empty. Officials do not have any leads on who may have left it. The local Department of Public Works was able to remove the casket within an hour after it was first reported, and they put out a social media post warning that dumping funeral items on the side of the road is against the law. City Councilmember Calvin Hawkins said, “I was more concerned with school-age children seeing it.”
* So it’s okay if younger-than-school-age children see it?
* Yes, we must hide all thoughts of death from the children. Think of the children!
* Well, except on Halloween. When we decorate our lawns with caskets and gravestones and skeletons FOR WHEN THE CHILDREN COME TO OUR HOUSES.
* Like most abandoned junk, maybe the owner just didn’t need it anymore.