LOUVRE NEEDS REPAIR; CONTROVERSY GROWING OVER MONA LISA

A newly-leaked memo in France has raised alarms about needed repairs in the Louvre, the world’s most-visited museum. In the memo, the museum director warned that some spaces in the museum “are no longer watertight, while others are experiencing worrying temperature variations, endangering the conservation of the artworks.” France’s President Macron has announced a major renovation and repair project for the Louvre, including moving the famous Mona Lisa to “a special space, accessible independently of the rest of the museum.” Meanwhile, Italy has suggested the painting be returned to them. Francesca Caruso, a regional assessor for culture in Italy’s Lombardy region, is calling for the painting to be returned to Milan, home to da Vinci’s “The Last Supper,” at least during the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics, which will be held in Milan.
* France says you can have the Mona Lisa when you pry it from “mes mains froides et mortes.”
* Moving the Mona Lisa would be a great plot for a heist movie starring, oh, I don’t know, Nicolas Cage and Dwayne Johnson?
* When they told the Mona Lisa they were moving her she made a face, but no one can tell what it means.
* Fixing the Louvre will be expensive, but they can just use all the money left over from rebuilding Notre Dame.
* The memo leaked, huh? And just in time for people to book trips for April and May before the renovations!
* I’ve been to the Louvre. The bathrooms look like they haven’t had a good scrubbing since the Renaissance.