WORLD CUP SKI CONTROVERSY: I LOVE WANK

There is a problem with the upcoming Alpine World Cup Ski Championship. The competition is being held this coming Saturday on Mount Wank in southern Germany. Officials are worried the name will offend British visitors. Even though “Wank” is spoken with the ‘w’ pronounced as ‘v’, as in Vahnk, the mountain’s slogan is pasted all over the place: “I Love Wank.” Officials from the International Ski and Snowboard Federation have banned use of the name while the world is watching, calling it inappropriate for an international event.
* Sounds like those officials are really verkin’ themselves into a tizzy.
* Banning the word “Wank”? Can they pull that off?
* It’s kinda backfired, ’caused the officials who don’t want anybody saying “Wank” are being called jerks.
* I imagine a lot of tourists will be walking around trying to find the Super-G spot, where the race will be held.
* They’re lucky the competition isn’t being held on the next mountain over, Mount Bangen.
* There hasn’t been a British controversy like this since “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.”