BRITISH SURGEON USES SWISS ARMY KNIFE TO OPERATE

A surgeon at a British hospital used a Swiss Army penknife to open up the chest of a patient because he claimed he could not find a sterile scalpel. The patient survived but internal documents show it was the same pocket knife he normally used to cut fruit for his lunch, and the surgeon’s colleagues felt his behavior was “questionable.” An investigation has also discovered the same surgeon carried out three supposedly low-risk operations in two months where all three patients died soon after. This was just one case of strange medical practices at the hospital. Police are separately looking into at least 105 cases of alleged medical negligence.
* Start with the person who’s supposed to be sterilizing the scalpels.
* They didn’t give the surgeon’s name, but we can assume it was Dr. MacGyver.
* And why didn’t they tell us the name of the hospital so we could warn our listeners in England!
* This sounds like a rejected episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
* I’m sorry, but medical bills in America would be a lot less if they used a Swiss Army knife. Scalpel, forceps, corkscrew, saw, scissors all in one handy tool. And they could use the toothpick for a probe.