UGLY? YOU’RE GONNA DIE

A new study claims that unattractive people are more likely to die younger than good looking people. Researchers claim that ‘ugly’ men live nearly a year less on average than those who were considered good looking. And unattractive women die on average two years earlier than attractive women. The researchers, all freakishly good looking, from Arizona State University and University of Texas at Austin, analyzed data from a long-running study that tracked more than 8,300 Wisconsin high school students from 1957 to their old age or death in 2022. First, they asked a panel of people to rate their attractiveness, according to their yearbook photo. Then, they checked the National Death Index and found almost half of the group had passed away by 2022. Those in the bottom of the six categories for attractiveness were 16.8 per cent more likely to have died than those in the middle four rankings.
* Oh, boy, I’d better write my will right now.
* I think the lesson here is, make sure you get a good yearbook photo. Don’t be shy about asking for a retake.
* And if you’re thinking of cosmetic surgery, get it done before the end of your junior year in high school.
* The weird thing is, that last extra year or two you could live – in your 80s or 90s – everybody pretty much looks equally horrible by then.
* But seriously, how does this explain Keith Richards?