FRIDAY, Aug 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR FRIDAY, August 9, 2024
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BOOK LOVERS DAY

NATIONAL HAND HOLDING DAY

NATIONAL RICE PUDDING DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

OLYMPIC NOTES: FRIDAY, AUGUST 9

– Sprinter Noah Lyles Competed With Covid: American sprinter Noah Lyles managed to win a bronze medal in the 200-meter event, while infected with COVID. Lyles said he woke up around 5 a.m. Tuesday morning feeling horrible and recognized it was more than just soreness. That led him to the team doctors where he was tested and diagnosed with COVID. Lyles said he never considered not running in the event. “I definitely say that it’s taking its toll, for sure, but I’ve never been more proud of myself for being able to come out here and get a bronze medal.” He was taken off the track in a wheelchair because he couldn’t walk away on his own.
* They rolled him right past the 80,000 people in the stadium lined up for a COVID test, before they all left for the airport to fly home to their native countries.

THE BUZZ

CLOTHES THAT MAKE YOU LOOK SEXIER

Reddit asked, “What clothing makes someone look instantly more attractive?” Some of the responses:
– “Black leather jacket. Regardless of age, ethnicity, or gender you will look better in a black leather jacket.”
– “Holeless socks”
– “The right shoes.”
– “Sundress.” (*note: a LOT of people said ‘sundress.’)
– “When guys wear the button up shirts but have the sleeves rolled up.”
– “Unbuttoned/open flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a white or black shirt underneath.”
– “A ski suit.”
– “Clothing that fits.”
– “Clean white t-shirt, well-fitting blue jeans. any gender, any time of day.”
– “A well-fitted baseball shirt. That’s like husband lingerie.”
– “Converse sneakers, short shorts, and either a hoodie or crop top.”
– “Scrubs.”
– “Librarian glasses.”
– “Bavarian Dirndl.”
– “A neon fanny pack with a matching visor.” (* This is PROBABLY a joke. Ya think?)
* Well, heck, maybe I SHOULDN’T have thrown out my Bavarian Dirndl.
* Why has nobody said “Those French pole-vaulter’s pants.”
* Black leather jacket, good. Black leather pants, bad.
* Maybe it’s time to retire that cape, gentlemen.
* PHONE TOPIC: What article of clothing do you think makes someone instantly more attractive?

SURVEY: ONE IN THREE THINK THEY HAVE A MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA

According to a recent survey of 2,000 Americans from Wealth of Geeks, a tech and gaming website, one in three Americans has an idea they think could one day make them wealthy. Of those people with the million-dollar idea, 17% of them say their idea would involve being financed through inheritance or using family money.
* ‘Cause they’ve already been laughed off of GoFundMe.
* So, look out grandad.
* One in three Americans has a million-dollar idea? That’s enough for another couple thousand years of half-hour episodes of “Shark Tank.”
* I’ve had million dollar ideas:
– It’s a Clapper that turns your lights on and off, only it operates on belches. Burp on, burp off.
– Baby diapers for triplets or quadruplets. It’s one big diaper with multiple leg holes, you just load all the babies in. I call it Group Huggies.
– A store that just sells diaries, for people who want to keep a diary. I’d call it The Diaria.

U.S. NEWS

MAN RIGGED TOILETS TO EXPLODE

A 46-year-old man is accused of rigging toilets with explosives at several locations of a San Antonio, Texas, car wash chain. There had been at least three incidents at two different Wash Tub car washes in the area involving small explosions under toilet seats. In one instance, loud bangs were heard in the bathroom. A female customer complained of being injured, but she was very upset and left the business without leaving any details. Police arrested Paul Moses Alden, who allegedly placed small explosives underneath the toilet seats that were designed to detonate under pressure. Security footage showed him sitting in the waiting area watching the bathroom until he heard the explosive device go off.
* OK, boomer.
* Boy, something like that could scare the crap out of you.
* Are they sure it was explosives? I mean… Texas… Tex-Mex food… anything could happen.
* Police have nothing to go on. I mean, police are looking into the toilets. Ew. I mean…
* Will the car wash press charges? I bet they won’t take this sitting down.

DUI SIMULATOR GOLF CART RUNS OVER FIVE PEOPLE

In Wildwood, New Jersey on Tuesday night, there was an annual event called “National Night Out” sponsored by the police. One of the features of the event has been a golf cart rigged to simulate the experience of drunk driving, meant to demonstrate what it’s like to drive impaired – the steering is loose, the windscreen is blurry, that sort of thing. A teenager was behind the wheel with an officer riding shotgun when the golf cart swerved off the course, went out of control and plowed into four adults and a child. Firefighters who were at the event came to their aid. All five were taken to the hospital.
* Did anyone at least yell “Fore!”?
* So did the teen win a stuffed bear for simulating DUI the best?
* Suddenly every kid at the fair wanted to ride that ride.
* A teenager? Uh … maybe they should limit the drunk driving lesson to PEOPLE WHO ARE OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK! DUH!! DUUUUUUHHH!!!
* The drunk driving was simulated; the lawyers will be real.

PHILIPPE PETIT WALKS HIGHWIRE AGAIN AT 74

Fifty years after his iconic high-wire walk between the twin towers of New York’s World Trade Center, acrobat Philippe Petit on Thursday recreated the death-defying stunt about 7 miles north of the trade center by walking a wire strung inside the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. Now age 74, Petit said he aimed to honor both his remarkable feat and the legacy of the towers. Back on August 7, 1974, Petit managed to string a cable between between the twin towers and walked across, and then back. During Thursday’s performance, as Petit walked along the wire, Sting took the stage below to perform his song “Fragile.”
* To remind Philippe how easily his bones would break if he fell?
* Was he relaxed as he walked the tightrope, or was he … high-strung?
* You think it’s easy walking a tightrope? Try doing it with a walker.
* Typical old man – halfway across he had to turn around because he forgot his balancing pole.
* “Walking on the Moon” might have been a better song for Sting to play.

WOMAN KILLED BY BAGGAGE CAROUSEL

(note: Morning Sidekick normally avoids death stories. But this one is just too bizarre to pass on.)
A woman died Thursday morning at Chicago O’Hare International Airport after getting caught in a baggage carousel. The woman, believed to be about 40 years old, was a member of the public and not a worker at the airport. She was reportedly found “pinned in machinery” somehow. Upon arriving to the scene, emergency responders found the woman entangled in the conveyor belt system used to move baggage.
* There’s no good way to spin this.
* Those things are unsafe. They’ve gone ’round and ’round on the issue.
* Listen, people, just ’cause it’s called a carousel doesn’t mean you should climb on for a ride.
* Usually, people die at the baggage carousel from old age, waiting for their luggage to pop up.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

RUSSIAN CHESS PLAYER TRIED POISONING HER OPPONENT

A Russian chess player has been suspended by the Russian Chess Federation and is facing time in jail after she tried to poison her opponent at a chess tournament. The incident happened at the Dagestan, Russia, Chess Championship on August 2. Contestant Umayganat Osmanova began feeling unwell 30 minutes into the game, complaining of nausea and dizziness. Doctors eventually concluded that poisoning was a likely cause. A review of security camera footage before the game clearly showed her opponent, Amina Abakarova, 40, walking over to the chess board before anyone else was in the room. She calmly smeared something on the table in front of one side of the board, and dipped at least one chess piece into the substance. That substance was later determined to be mercury from a thermometer. Abakarova later confessed that she wanted to “knock her opponent out of the tournament,” because a week earlier Osmanova had beaten her. Abakarova is temporarily suspended from Russian chess events.
* She was immediately detained and then hired by Vladimir Putin.
* Russia: where poisoning your opponent will earn you a suspension.
* One clue was that the pawns were little undertakers.
* All the evidence was there in black and white.
* Oh, those mercurial chess prodigies!

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 2, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Wednesday – Patriot Day
Sept. 20, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Sunday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 8:44 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 14, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Wednesday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Thursday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Ashley Johnson (actress, “Blindspot”) … 41
Jessica Capshaw (actress, “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 48
Gillian Anderson (actress) … 56
Eric Bana (actor) … 56
Hoda Kotb (“Today” co-host) … 60
Melanie Griffith (actress) … 67
Sam Elliot (permanently-mustached cowboy-type actor, “1883,” “The Ranch,” “A Star Is Born”) … 80
Betty Boop (cartoon character, debuted on August 9, 1930 in the cartoon “Dizzy Dishes”) … 94

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I have a real problem with stillness. With just stopping and being quiet.”

(A) Elon Musk
(B) Howie Mandell
(C) Gillian Anderson

ANSWER: (C) Gillian Anderson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2002 – Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants hit his 600th homer, becoming the fourth major leaguer to reach the mark.
* And without the use of steroids! Right?

1982 – John Hinckley was detained indefinitely for the attempted assassination of president Ronald Reagan. He claimed he couldn’t remember a thing about it.
* And neither could John Hinckley.

1974 – U.S. President Richard Nixon resigned after the Watergate Scandal.
* Luckily all the presidents since have been squeaky-clean.

1910 – A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing machine.
* And suddenly Mr. and Mrs. Fisher’s grown children started dropping by more often.

1859 – The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames.
* You’ll never go broke overestimating how lazy people can be.

1854 – “Walden,” Henry David Thoreau’s celebration of living in harmony with Nature, was published.
* Of course, a hell of a lot of trees were chopped down to put out the book, but never mind about that.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – Jennifer Lopez won $545,000 in a case against her first husband, Ojani Noa, who planned to publish a book claiming she had several affairs. Lopez claimed Noa had violated a previous legal settlement preventing him from revealing private details about their relationship.

2007 – Amy Winehouse cancelled a series of European shows after being admitted to hospital suffering from “severe exhaustion.” In recent weeks she had also pulled out of numerous other events and concerts citing “exhaustion.”

1999 – Bob Herbert, who formed the Spice Girls, died in a car accident in London at age 57.

1995 – Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead died of a heart attack in San Francisco.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Of all the people who buy THIS product, only 10% are guys. What is it?
Candles

2. According to a recent study, the average person touches about 15 of THESE before buying one. What are they?
Greeting cards

3. 93% of people buy THIS at least one a month. What is it?
Pizza

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