WEDNESDAY, Sept 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, September 20, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Contact Us; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL PEPPERONI PIZZA DAY

PUNCH DAY (Some sources say NATIONAL RUM PUNCH DAY)
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“The word punch means five, originating from the Hindustani word panch. Punch Day sadly isn’t an excuse to drink five glasses of punch; rather, it celebrates the traditional punch base recipe of five key ingredients, which most punches still use – alcohol (usually spirits), lemon (or other fruits), sugar, water, and tea (or other spices, such as cinnamon).”

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

THE BUZZWHAT ARE YOU BETTER AT THAN ANYBODY?

Reddit asked, “What are you better at than 99% of people?” Some of the responses:
– “Morse code. Probably better than 99.99% of people.”
– “Recognizing and naming local trees and plants.”
– “What is the smallest food container that will fit these leftovers? It’s a very specific skill, but I feel powerful every time I use it.”
– “Whistling. I’ve been stopped by people my whole life and been told I whistle better than they’ve ever heard.”
– “Knowing what that actor was from.”
– “Mental math.”
– “Checking out and bagging at the self check out lines.”
– “Picking the cart with the wonky wheel at the grocery store.”
– “I’m an avocado savant. Somehow the avocados I select don’t go bad.”
– “I have a weird gift of knowing what temperature it is without looking.”
– “I manage hotels, so I meet a lot of different people. I will hold a conversation with you about anything regardless if I care or not.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What are you better at than most people?

U.S. NEWS

HOMEOWNER STABBED, PULLS OUT KNIFE AND STABS THE STABBER

Last Saturday morning in Napa Valley, California, a 61-year-old homeowner stepped outside his house after the power went out. He found a stranger on his property. An argument and physical altercation ensued in which the stranger stabbed the homeowner in the back. The homeowner then pulled the knife out of his own back and stabbed his attacker in the torso, and then used the knife to subdue him until authorities arrived. Arrested was 33-year-old Andrew Kenneth Dixon. Both men suffered non-life-threatening injuries.
* The name of the homeowner has not been revealed, but we can assume everyone just calls him Badass.
* He turned his attacker’s knife back on him. For 61, he’s pretty sharp.
* I’m sure the attacker is thinking, “Wait, you’re not allowed to do that.”
* Sometimes the old “eye for an eye” thing works pretty good.
* The homeowner’s backup plan was digging out the shrapnel he got during the war, melting it down into a bullet and firing it back at his attacker, but things were moving pretty quickly by then.
* Maybe the moral here is, there’s a knife shortage in Napa, California.

GRAND CANYON HIKER INJURED, ABANDONED BY FRIENDS

Last Friday at the Grand Canyon five friends were on a week-long backpacking hike on the North Rim when one of them, a 63-year-old man, fell and suffered a traumatic injury to his shoulder. This happened around 2 p.m. Someone in the group had an Apple device that was used to alert rescuers. Once they sent the alert, the other four continued on their way, leaving the injured hiker behind alone. The local sheriff’s office didn’t receive a call for help until 6 p.m. when he dispatched search and rescue crews. The rescue helicopter could not land in the tight space and was forced to land about a quarter mile from the hiker’s location. Rescuers then hiked through the creek and difficult terrain to reach the hiker and bring him to safety.
* “OK, everybody who thinks we should stay, raise your hand. Larry, I don’t see your hand up, so we’re leaving you behind.”
* More room in the car for the drive home, right gang?
* I think I would change that “five friends” to “five acquaintances.”
* Hey, at least they didn’t grab his wallet.
* Well, there’s four people out of the will.

MAN KILLED BY BEES HIDING IN POTTING SOIL BAG

A Harlan, Kentucky man died after he was attacked by a swarm of bees that were concealed inside a bag of potting soil. The 59-year-old was moving the bag of soil from his porch on Monday evening when he was swarmed. While waiting for emergency responders, family members attempted to perform CPR. The first responders and emergency room staff failed to revive the man.
* Bees play dirty, folks.
* It wasn’t a booby trap, it was a beeby trap.
* This is kind of the opposite of “O death, where is thy sting?”
* It’s ironic, but moving that bag of dirt was on his Honey Do list.
* The victim’s name was not released; it is none of our beeswax.
* Another reason to not bother with the stupid gardening.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

BABY NAMED “METHAMPHETAMINE RULES” AS A JOKE

Kirsten Drysdale, a journalist for the Australian Broadcasting Company, wanted to answer a question many viewers have: Are there any names you can’t legally use in Australia? Apparently, you have to have your baby’s name approved by the government. Drysdale had a new baby boy, so she submitted the name of her third son as “Methamphetamine Rules” to New South Wales Births, Deaths and Marriages. She said they “wanted to submit the most outrageous name they could think of, assuming it would be rejected.” But it wasn’t. Now, she wants to officially change her son’s name to something less, uh, cool. A spokesperson for Births, Deaths, and Marriages says they will work with the Drysdale to change the child’s name, although “Methamphetamine Rules” will remain in the system.
* We all know how governments love a good joke.
* Does she have a cracked head?
* What about her other two sons, Magic Mushroom and his brother Bath Salts?
* “Methamphetamine Rules” is getting a lot of pushback from Australians who say Crack is King.
* Still not as weird as Elon Musk’s baby names. (Some of which are X Æ A-Xii, Exa Dark Sideræl, and Techno Mechanicus.)

CRAZY ART: LIVE! NUDES! LIVE!

The Royal Academy of Arts in London has a new exhibition of works by Marina Abramović, a Serbian conceptual and performance artist. The exhibition contains key performance pieces from the artist’s 50-year career. It includes:
– “Luminosity,” in which a naked woman is pinned high up on the wall in a crucifix pose while seated on a bicycle seat.
– “Nude with Skeleton,” features a naked performance artist lying still on the ground for hours with a skeleton on top of them.
– “House With the Ocean View,” where three women will occupy separate open platforms on the gallery wall, for 24 hours a day over 12 days without talking and drinking only water. Not sure if they’re naked.
These are all conceptual pieces that Abramović has performed herself. Oh – and to get in to the exhibit, you have to pass through a performance piece called “Imponderabilia,” where you have to squeeze between two naked people, a man and a woman.
* So it’s a toll gate?
* Try not to rub against the man or woman’s imponderabilia.
* They have to replace the nude door people every 50 admissions, because of chafing.
* Just think – she’s been doing this for 50 years – 50 YEARS – and THESE are the best things the Royal Academy could find to put in their exhibit.
* Another crazy lady artist. They call her Loco Ono.

TRENDING

VANNA WHITE SIGNS FOR TWO MORE YEARS, PRAISE THE LORD

Vanna White has extended her “Wheel of Fortune” contract for another two years. The series returned for Season 41 last Monday. This news comes after White renewed her “Celebrity Wheel of Fortune” contract in July. Under this new contract, White will continue to walk back and forth in front ot the puzzle board through the 2025-26 season. And, according to TMZ, White got a “substantial pay increase” with the deal. As previously announced, Season 41, which started this week, will be the last for host Pat Sajak. After this season, Ryan Seacrest will take over as host.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Jon Bernthal (actor, “The Many Saints of Newark,” “The Punisher,” “The Walking Dead”) … 47
Ben Shepherd (bass player with Soundgarden) … 55
Kristen Johnston (actress, “Mom,” “3rd Rock from the Sun”) … 56
Gunnar and Matthew Nelson (music duo, twin sons of Ricky Nelson) … 56
Gary Cole (actor, “Veep,” “The Good Wife”) … 67
George R.R. Martin (author, “A Song of Ice and Fire” (Game of Thrones) … 75
Sophia Loren (actress) … 89

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Boy, there are days where I get up and say ‘Where the hell did my talent go?'”

(A) Eddie Murphy
(B) Melissa McCarthy
(C) George R.R. Martin

ANSWER: (C) George R.R. Martin

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2013 – Video game “Grand Theft Auto” became the fastest entertainment product to reach $1 billion in sales.
* Although, as soon as you drive it off the lot, it loses 10% of its value.

2011 – The United States military ended its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, allowing gay men and women to serve openly for the first time.
* Like Barry Goldwater said in 1993, “You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight.”

1997 – The Chilean Festival of Cat Cookery, featuring top dishes made from kitties, was canceled after protests by animal rights groups.
* And by North Korean restaurants who accused them of stealing their recipes.

1995 – The U.S. House voted to drop the national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their own speed limits.
* Uhm … what’s a “speed limit”?

1961 – An Argentinean man became the first ever swim across the English Channel and back.
* Forgot his cigarettes.

1946 – The first Cannes film festival was held to celebrate the best in French movies.
* And since then they’ve managed to make just three where the heroine didn’t smoke 400 cigarettes before making love with three different guys and committing suicide.

1924 – Excavations in Egypt uncovered the world’s oldest stones.
* Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

1921 – The first radio newscast was broadcast, on KDKA, Pittsburgh, PA.
* The lead story was “You’re listening to the first radio news broadcast.”

1859 – George Simpson patented the electric range.
* The early models weren’t too powerful – a three-minute egg took about four-and-a-half days.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2018 – Paul McCartney was at No.1 on the US chart with his 17th solo studio album Egypt Station. It was his first No.1 album in the US since 1982’s Tug of War and his first to debut atop the Billboard 200.

1994 – The Los Angeles Attorney’s Office announced they would not be bringing child molestation charges against Michael Jackson.

1973 – Jim Croce was killed in a plane crash on his way to Sherman, Texas for a concert.

1970 – Doors singer Jim Morrison was found guilty of indecent exposure after he flashed on stage.

1964 – The Beatles met Bob Dylan in New York. Dylan was the person who introduced them to marijuana.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. When women turn 40, they’re more likely to do THIS. What is it?
Speed while driving

2. 23% of women say THIS about themselves. What is it?
They have nothing to wear

3. According to surveys, on any given day, 35% of women do THIS. What is it?
Clean their belly button

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